How Sewing Can Help You Heal and Feel Capable Again
Years ago, I found myself in a spiral of what felt like failures. I had burnt out as a hospital social worker, walking away from a career I spent years building. On the home front, I struggled with infertility for five years before my daughter was born, and the first year of her life was an exhausting mix of her gastro problems and a refusal to eat. I felt overwhelmed, my health suffered, my marriage was getting rocky, and the negative self-talk was relentless.
I desperately needed a way to feel capable again. I had a web browser for sewing classes open on my phone for an entire year before I finally worked up the courage to book my first lesson.
What I found was more than just a hobby. Sewing had a quick learning curve, and it allowed me to focus on one task or lesson at a time. I started to make small, tangible victories. It was a feeling I desperately needed. And what surprised me most was that this mentality started trickling into other aspects of my life. Things started to feel do-able. I mean, if I could install a zipper in a dress, surely I could handle making dinner with a toddler hanging off me.
This is the power of sewing with self-compassion, and it’s the key to finding your creative flow.
Remember This Mantra: It’s Just Fabric
The biggest obstacle to finding joy in sewing isn’t a tricky technique or a confusing pattern—it’s the pressure we put on ourselves. We treat every stitch like it’s life or death, but we need to remember this simple truth: it’s just fabric. It can be cut, re-sewn, and replaced. It’s not a reflection of your worth. Practicing this simple mindset is the first step toward self-compassion and the first step toward finding your flow.
Set Yourself Up for Success
As a social worker, I’ve seen firsthand how a little bit of support can lead to big wins. The same principle applies to your sewing practice. To protect your creative energy and make sure you have fun, try these simple strategies:
- Break Projects into “Wins”: Instead of seeing a project as one big, overwhelming task, break it down into tiny, manageable steps. Focus only on one at a time. The real win isn’t the finished garment—it’s completing pattern prep, or finishing the cutting, or ironing your fabric perfectly. Each small accomplishment is a victory that builds your confidence.
- Give Yourself Permission to Play: Avoid setting harsh time constraints, like “I have to finish this for my vacation next week.” This instantly kills your flow and turns a joyful hobby into a stressful deadline. Instead, give yourself permission to simply show up and work on the project for as long as it feels good.
- Start with a Low-Stakes Project: The best way to build confidence is by sewing something that has no pressure to be perfect. Sew something like a hair scrunchie, cat toy or clothes for your own kids. They will love anything you make for them, no matter the imperfections, and their joy will reinforce your purpose.
- Don’t Sew for Others (Yet): Initially, resist the urge to sew for friends or extended family. The pressure to make someone else happy with a finished product, even if it’s a gift, can be an instant flow killer. Focus on sewing for yourself and your family until you are confident and ready.
Finding a flow mode isn’t about being perfect; it’s about creating an environment where you can learn without judgment. By being kind to yourself and setting yourself up for success, you can protect your joy and find a true sense of purpose in your craft.
Suggested projects:
- Scrunchie- Seamworks has a written tutorial and youtube tutorial for you! No pattern necessary.
- Pet Sewing- See Kate Sew has cat and dog sewing patterns and tutorials. Some are free!
- Easy Kid Patterns-
- Simple Elastic Skirt by Aloha Sewing Company- (she didn’t pre-wash her fabric, don’t do that! Always prewash fabric for clothes)- Kid’s elastic waist skirt video tutorial
- Fleece beanie by Fleece Fun- Easy Fleece Hat Tutorial (Free Pattern)
- Basic adult woven tee- This is hands down my favorite basic women’s tee by Elizabeth Suzann. Not free but a real solid pattern so you can start wearing your makes!